Here at BrickUnderground, we've devoted a lot of time to every kind of nightmare neighbor, from a knife-tossing maniac to a full-on prostitution ring. But what actually makes a good neighbor in such close quarters? Depends on your preferences: Are you a morning person or a night owl? A dog-loving stoner, or a wine-guzzling cat person? Whatever your preference, we've got a few ideas of who we'd be next door in an ideal world:
1. A firefighter. Self-explanatory.
2. A responsible high school student. Translation: Cheap, last-minute babysitting and no cab fare.
3. A downstairs neighbor who works from 3pm to 11pm. Another one for the parents out there: someone who's only home when your kids are at school, and won't mind—or ever actually hear—your offspring when they start running laps around the apartment.
4. The owner of a cute (and quiet!) dog/baby. Or really, anything small and adorable that you can pat on the head occasionally without having to worry about feeding or cleaning up after.
5. An AppleCare specialist. An in-house IT whiz is way more valuable than a handyman.
6. A pied-a-terre-owner. Ah, silence.
7. A chef or culinary student. Really, anyone in the foodservice industry—chances are they'll come home from their shifts with bags full of extra food. Bonus points if they're on a diet and don't want all those pastries hanging around.
8. A wine distributor. They'll always have spare bottles to share. (Also good: beauty editors, who come with makeup samples they're hoping to unload.)
9. Anyone with a flatscreen, premium cable, an Xbox, and lots of spare time on their hands. Best when combined with item number 8.